through the rain

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and
I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and
I make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and
I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And I stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain
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life has never been easy for me. from the moment i'm borned into this world, seems to me lotsa things have been destined. when i was in high sch, i thought i had already been thru the worst moments of my life. but reality has never been kind to me, as if i had not had enough, god decided to take away my bro when we least expected it. those unforgettable, sad memories came rushing back to me. feels like it just happened yesterday. i could clearly remember every painful moment, every tickling second that passed by, i was really torn apart. i desperately wished i was just having some kind of nightmare. i was hoping some one will actually wake me up and tell me that it was just a terrible nightmare. none of it was true. or...it was me who god chose to take away.

i know i should be thankful that i'm still alive till now. a lot of ppl are struggling to live life to its fullest but they are not given the chance to see how beautiful life could be. but at times, i just feel so lonely. i know i'm surrounded by a bunch of great and supportive friends, but the feeling of loneliness will always be there i guess. it just cant be wiped away can it? i don't know why i am feeling this way, i just couldnt help it. maybe it's the work pressure. it is taking its toll on me. i dont know. i feel that i'm changing inside. i'm not the cheerful me anymore. i can feel the heavy responsibilities on my shoulder. i could no longer be as naive as i used to be. and my emotions...i'm going thru an emotion roller coaster you know. sometimes it is just beyond my control. i really feel tired not only physically but mentally and emotinally as well. what has gotten into me? i'm supposed to feel happy but why aint i feeling so? i just dont understand myself.

how i wish i have more privacy at home. i guess i really need to sort things out. there is nowhere for me to vent out my anger or frustration. i have nowhere where i could cry my heart out. and i just dont know how long i could keep all these to myself. sounds very suicidal aint it? god bless me.

friends have been telling me i have got to be strong and stand up on my own. but there are times when i really wanna hide and shut myself up from the rest of the world. i just wanna be left alone with my own feelings and thoughts. let me grief for myself. i'm so tired of masking my true feelings and emotions in front of everyone else.

this post is getting all too emotional. guess i better stop now. 'fret not, i'm just ranting bout things that i could not show in front of my family, friends and colleagues. well i can and will make it thru the rain. just need some time.

carrot, egg or coffee bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.

She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil,without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?""Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity...boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter."When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? DidI have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying....

out of reach by gabrielle

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach, So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach,
I can see
There's a life out there
For me
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another one of my favourites. hehehehe. the lyrics described what i once felt. but it was ages ago. and that person has finally found his dream girl. wish him all the best in his future undertakings.

after such a long wait, i've got my CSAT coming in. hehehe. can u see my neck has grown a few inches longer? i've been working for 2 months plus d, and my hard work has finally paid off. CSAT stands for customer satisfaction. DSAT = dissatisfaction. i hope they will just keep on coming in. but pls not DSAT. cos it will affect the entire team's performance. keep my fingers crossed. anyway, promised cheryl will treat her makan western food to celebrate my 1st hard earned, very much long awaited CSAT. hehehehe.

hmm, i've got nth much to share actually. but i'm really feeling happy and satisfied to get recognition from my customers. well i hope this is smth that will kick start my career and turn into some kind of motivation for me to perform better and feel more passionate about my job. fingers crossed....

a day of shopping with....

CHERYL CHEANG!! hahahaha! you guys must be stunned why i start my blog with her big name. to those who dont know her, she is my dearest colleague a.k.a toilet partner in dell a.k.a lunch companion a.k.a uni/coursemate. how can i not "fall in love" with this trendy, fashionable, new found shopping kaki friend of mine? a word of caution tho, going shopping with her reali does mean shopping. in her dictionary there is no such thing as WINDOW SHOPPING. with cheryl cheang around, it is darn hard not to spend on clothes and shoes =) as expected i bought 3 tops (again baju), a very nicely knitted pink colored bag and a white belt today. gonna be a big spendthrift soon. well i told cheryl that i will only go out with her shopping once a mth. else i'm in deep poo poo. cannot ho seh la keep on spending like this. sumore i got no1 to sponsor me leh. no bf what oso "eat" myself. sigh. now that i've started working, must know how to dress up a bit la. at least smart casual lo. gotta learn to love myself more ma since tarak org mau pamper me. ada betui?? *wink wink*

at long last, i finally found the song i've been searching high and low for; what will i do by natalie burks. the lyrics was published in my previous post. thanks to yiu jin for helping me to look for the song. a million thanks. i'm really touched ler. the song may seem very short but i love it nevertheless. another one of my all time favourites is dreaming of you by selena which was also published in my blog. i feel i'm kinda connected to these 2 songs. don't know why la. i just couldnt get bored listening to them again and again. anyway, the above 2 songs are OST of a HK serial, "File of Justice". those of you who are movie buffs, i bet u guys would have heard of it somewhere. it is now showing on astro WLT on mondays to fridays from 6 to 7pm i guess =p if i'm not mistaken, it is also repeated dring weekends. well you can always check the astro booklet if you wanna watch. to be frank, i hv not watched astro for a couple of months d la since i started working. cos i've switched to DVDs. hahahaha!! more flexible ma. i can watch anytime i want. no need to follow the the astro or tv programme. kan senang. hehehe...

hmm, i've got nth much to crap oso la actually. till the next post...take care. au revoir!!

what will i do by natalie burks

I'm not really sure of the words to say

If only you knew that I feel this way

I wanna give my heart to you

Show me the way that you want me to

I know for sure there's a place for us

I'm counting the days till I feel your touch

You come to me when I dream at night

When I'm with you it will be so right

If you could see the love in my eyes

You should know that I'm on your side

Ohh ohh ohh

I'd be yours

You'd be mine

Ohh what will I do

i knew i loved you by savage garden

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only this sense of completion

And in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

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kinda miss this song la. i still rmbr that this was a hit back in high sch time. hehehe. one of my favourites then.

well hope u guys enjoy it as much as i do. gonna get yiu jin to download the song for me. hehehee...

more about michelleongsk

1. what kind of first impression do you think peoplesay when they first see you?
- fierce and not too frenly..

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
- music, books, dream.

3. what is your favorite line to say when you'redrunk?
- dat i duno...

4. how many drinks do u need before u get tipsy?
- a few sips r enuf to turn my face red.

6. what kind of books do you like to read?
- romance mostly..but m open to all kinds of books

7. do you think you're cute?
- wat yau think then?

8. do you have a problem changing clothes in frontof your friends?
- not reali.

9. what do you eat when you raid the fridge atnight?
- depends what r in my fridge...

10. describe your bed?
- comfy...

11. spontaneous or planned?
- spontaneous

12. do you know how to play poker?
- not really

13. what do you carry with you at all times?
- purse n mobile =p

14. what do you miss most about being a kid?
- no responsibilities, no commitments, fuss free

15. are you happy with your given name?
- yea

16. what color is your bedroom?
- light green

17. have you ever been in a play?
- sorta

18. do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
- of course

19. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
- mayb u shd b da judge...

20. do you spend more time with yourgirlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
- friends cos no bf yet...

21. what's one thing you wish you could do butcan't?
- to say thank you and i love you to that some1...

22. what is your ideal wedding location?
- hv not even tot bout it

23. whats one instrument you wish you could play?
- piano, guitar, violin, drums...

24. whats one language you want to learn?
- spanish, jap, korean

25. have you ever pierced your body parts?
- ears

26. do you have any tattoos?
- nop

27. what's one trait you hate in a person?
- hypocrite, arrogant pig

28. do you consider yourself materialistic?
- well to a certain extent yes..

on 2/9/2006, saturday, 4:52PM

guess where am i now? hehehehe. i'm at my office. doing wat? well, there is a PC fair in singapore right now. so i am here to actually help out the sales team to download the orders. of course i'm not doing this for free la. got OT wan ma. at 1st i din want to come but cheryl asked me to accompany her so i ma said ok lo.

maybe i should start story-ing from yesterday. went to my bro's hse to chill out with al and yin. watched freddy vs jason. it was supposed to be a horror a.k.a scary movie. but to hell with it, it din make sense (at least not to me), and it was actually funny (more like a comedy). we all laughed when we were supposed to be scared. i mean that show was kinda stupid la. i wasted a full 2 hrs of my life on a suppose-to-be-horror-and-scary-movie-but-it-turned-out-to-be-a-comedy-thing. sigh. a big no no la. cannot ho seh at all. not recommended. better go sleep or do smth else la.

woke up at 8.30am today. then off we went to jelutong market searching for dim sum. poor al, kena bitten by mosquitoes. her blood must be terribly sweeeeet la. cos yin and i were not attacked at all. well maybe we were wearing jeans kua. hehehehe. after that i balik kampung took my bath and waited for cheryl to come fetch me to esplanade.

lunch at about 12 smth. my 1st time eating mee sotong. hmm, kinda nice also. but a bit too saltish for me. tasted good nonetheless. i would rate it 7/10. worth trying tho. after feasting, we headed to BJ complex. bought myself 3 tops which cost me RM30, a pair of beach slippers RM10 and a hair cream RM13.50. this is how my RM50 note flew away. sigh. all because of cheryl lo, encouraged me to spend and buy. within less than an hour nia, spent so much d ler. kekekeke. but i must admit it was worth buying la. whr to get RM10 per top wo? sumore very nice ler the design.

planning to go to the usm eh pasar malam after work. cheryl will be fetching me back. hehe. a very well planned sat i must say. itz been so long since i feel that my sat is sooo meaningful and full of agendas. letz hope i've got more activities tmr. would not want to stay at home 24/7 ler. very sien. must chill out ma after a week of slogging in my office cube. heheehe.

hmm nth much to update anyway. saje pen down a few words nia while waiting for the sales order to come in. take care dudez! adios.... =)